Half way through the working week already! What have you achieved so far this week? Not for your employer or even for your clients, what have you achieved for you?
So often we measure our success and self worth by what we do for others and in turn how they thank, repay and value us.
Depending on validation, affirmation and gratitude from others for what we do can be a very dangerous game. Why? Because when we don’t get the validation, affirmation or gratitude we are seeking, and often expect, what happens to us?
So how did I change that and get away from that spiral? I’m glad you asked . . .
Well in my experience, when I depended on others to build my self-esteem, if I didn’t get it I began to question my self-worth, assumed that I wasn’t good enough and spiralled into that misery of doubt and fear that had held me prisoner for far too long.
I stopped worrying about other peoples opinions. Simple as that but incredibly liberating and the start of my major shift to who I am today. So try these simple steps . .
- Always do the best you can do, and acknowledge that you could not have done any better.
- Don’t seek approval or validation, give it instead, to yourself and others
- Understand that when you have done your best and others criticise then it’s about them, not you, their agenda, not yours.
- Take constructive feedback as a way of learning and improving
- Never, ever, let someone elses opinion of you change how you feel about yourself
- Always celebrate your wins and successes
- Remember that the only person whose opinion of you counts IS YOU
So, what have you achieved this week, for you? Make a list, remind yourself how great you are and go and celebrate your wonderful uniqueness.